Comments for The New Rambler

Comment on Worries by Lucy

Lucy — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 10:56:39 +0000

I LOVE this post. I think every pregnant woman should keep a diary of their worries before and after. Brilliant. Did you EVER think motherhood would involve so much math? This is something nobody tells you. Ever.

Comment on Some Notes on Natural Childbirth by Juice

Juice — Sun, 08 Apr 2012 22:27:56 +0000

As much as I admired your awesomeness before, I’m truly amazed now. I read every word of your beautiful story with bated breath and tears in my eyes.

I’ve birthed three children without drugs, so your every emotion resonates in my soul.

My favorite birthing quote of mine (laboring in the tub at the hospital while the tub termometer got a little too friendly) was “Someone get this fucking turtle out of my ass. NOW.”

Love and miss you. Congratulations on your beautiful boy.

Comment on Too Many Martyrs, Too Many Apologies by Aliki Barnstone

Aliki Barnstone — Wed, 28 Mar 2012 22:43:08 +0000

Hi, Laura – This is an awesome essay. You’re right, you can’t legislate attitudes, but I’d like to add two corollaries. First, civil rights legislation does change attitudes, eventually. So it does make a difference that the professions (the academy, medicine, the law, for example) have among their ranks women, African-Americans, Jews, Latina/os, openly GLBTs, and other folks who have suffered institutionalized discrimination and persecution. And those terrible attitudes are more difficult to maintain when “those people” are someone who teahes you, you go to school with, or is your doctor or dentist, or your next door neighbor. So part of the work of legislating is changing attitudes. Second, ALEC is systematically writing oppressive, discriminatory, anti-democratic, and downright evil legislation, getting the legislators elected who’ll pass it, and then broadcasts the propaganda that allows to stand these assaults on literally every law that protects civil liberty: http://alecexposed.org/wiki/ALEC_Exposed
And also, you’re hard on yourself. You “did it” awhile ago. You have the decency to be sorry and to change. I think it’s important to realize that the more we make interaction between groups “difficult” the more difficult being friends is. It’s not that flippin’ difficult. All of these divisions are socially constructed, not written in our DNA. God is good and made our souls good. If we sin, we can say we’re sorry, and do better. If we want we can atone, as you did here. That’s pretty much the foundation of faith, by my lights.

I think Peter will help you find solutions to this and other problems. Zoe has/does. She just wasn’t programmed to be a racist or a homophobe or any other hateful thing. And that’s not just me, it’s that she spent most of her childhood in Las Vegas, which is an amazingly harmoniously diverse town. Now that we’re here, she hears stuff, not much, and she’s outraged and thinks it’s just plain stupid.

Oh, and when was the last time I told you how much I love you?

Comment on Too Many Martyrs, Too Many Apologies by Amy

Amy — Wed, 28 Mar 2012 22:17:29 +0000

I teach a graduate level course at a Michigan university; my class includes a student from Zimbabwe. I spoke to her recently and told her to be sure to enjoy the Lake Michigan beaches, not far from our school, but she might like one in particular more than the others because it is more diverse: she would see more people of color there. I told her my partner and I like it because even though we never see queer couples there we feel like “different” is ok. My student said that I was the first person to mention race to her, and she was relieved by that. She feels the tension but doesn’t know how to address or relieve it. It’s one of the things that we are not taught how to talk about, I think.

Comment on Peter by Laura K

Laura K — Wed, 28 Mar 2012 21:40:55 +0000

Well, okay, that made me cry and I’m supposed to be doing a month-end check run. I’m a little behind on people’s blogs, so I should have been sniffling over a stack of “sign here” tabs two months ago, but I’m doing it now.

Comment on Control, Part Two by your mom

your mom — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 04:11:31 +0000

preach it, daughter.
and I wouldn’t trade you for anything, either.
(actually, I always liked the “optative of unfulfilled desire”)

Comment on Control, Part Two by Edie Phillips

Edie Phillips — Mon, 19 Mar 2012 03:17:36 +0000

Thank you. Well said.

Comment on Control, Part Two by Anne Tanner

Anne Tanner — Sat, 17 Mar 2012 15:17:00 +0000

Amen to that.

Comment on Some Notes on Natural Childbirth by Alicia

Alicia — Wed, 14 Mar 2012 16:32:39 +0000

First, I appreciate Rebecca’s comment about shame. It’s terribly wasted in our culture, and somehow, in a movement for women to take back our birth experience, some women feel judged and put down for things that happened to them out their control, which is unfair and contrary to the spirit of the natural childbirth method in general.
But Laura, I think you are too quick to apologize and feel bad when you shouldn’t. It’s unfair to judge a woman who gets an epidural because we cannot be in her body and feel her pain, but it’s also unfair to say things like “nobody gives you a medal!” and “would you turn down pain meds for a tooth extraction too?!” to a woman who chooses to go without medication or an epidural.
I have to slightly disagree with Rebecca’s equivocation about choices before birth. It is NOT equally good to chose an elective c section for your convenience. It is not good to ask to be induced at 40 weeks because you’re tired of carrying the big belly around.
When a mother ends up with a csection because her hospital won’t let her try to deliver her OP baby, or because she failed to progress for all of 6 hours? These things are also wrong, but the shame belongs to our system, not the mother.
All one can ever ask is that new parents put time and effort into planning their labor, and that they are forgiving enough with themselves to recognize that all of it is out of their control. Yes things change, and what’s most important is a healthy mother and healthy baby, but labor day is important, too. I guess what I’m saying is most important is mom’s mental state before, during, and after the day, and that entails preparation, education, and understanding of herself and the process.

Comment on Peter by how do we explain patron privacy in a world of target markets? | lis.dom

how do we explain patron privacy in a world of target markets? | lis.dom — Mon, 12 Mar 2012 14:13:40 +0000

[...] weeks ago, I gave birth to a baby boy. A number of things happen when you have a kid, but for the purposes of this post, I’m [...]